Falling In Love Too Quickly? 5 Tips To Keep Your Heart In Check
Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash
You haven’t been dating him for very long, but you think he might be the one you’ve been waiting for. He’s kind and charming and handsome and funny — not to mention, he loves kids. He shares your values and seems to like you, too. You couldn’t have asked for a better match.
However, you’ve only been dating him for a couple of months, and you’re worried that you’re getting ahead of yourself. You don’t want to come on too strong, but you also haven’t felt this way before. You don’t want to put pressure on him, but you also want to gage how serious he is. You don’t want to rush into things, but you think you might be falling in love.
What are you supposed to do now? How do you listen to your head when your heart is doing all the talking? How do you keep yourself from falling for what you’re pretty sure is the right guy, too quickly? How do you make sure you aren’t falling in love with the idea of him, rather than the real him? How do you get a tighter grip on your growing feelings without putting a damper on the relationship?
01 | Let him earn your love.
One of the most magical aspects of a budding romance? The pursuit, of course. The extra care we take to make a good impression, the extra thought we put into every text message, the extra time we take to get ready.
Allow him the opportunity to do these “extra” things to earn your affection, to woo you, to show himself to be the right man to fall for. You might even find yourself enjoying your time with him all the more.
02 | Enjoy the “beginning” stages.
Speaking of enjoyment, these beginning stages of the relationship (should he be the right man for you) are ultimately fleeting. They’ll come to an end sooner than you realize, slip away slowly, and then all at once.
Allow things to progress slowly and naturally. Bask in these early weeks and months. There’s far less of them than there will be of the later years, when you’re settled and comfortable with each other.
03 | Remind yourself that he’s flawed.
It’s all too common to fall more in love with the idea of someone than with the real person. When we don’t know them well, we’ll fill in the blanks. And the more we like them, the more positive our fillings are.
One way to curb this? Reminding yourself that, whether or not he’s Mr. Right, he has his flaws, quirks, and weaknesses. There will eventually be things you learn about him that are less swoon-worthy. Remembering this will help keep you tethered to who he really is, versus who you desire him to be.
04 | Try not to daydream too much.
Everything about him is new, incredible, exciting. Everything reminds you of him, whether it’s a love song on the radio, or you happen to spot his favorite candy at the store. Your thoughts, right now, are bent towards him.
It’s understandable, but it’s worth keeping in check. Daydreaming with reckless abandon can create stronger attachments than would be wise at the moment. So the next time you find yourself wondering what he’s doing at this very moment, challenge yourself to switch your thought pattern over to a new task.
05 | Create healthy boundaries.
When your heart’s voice is much louder than your head’s is, boundaries are your best friend — especially when it comes to the physical aspects of the relationship. Because women are hardwired to become deeply attached through physical intimacy, it’s essential to draw boundaries that will protect you from getting attached to the wrong guy.