6 Phrases That Will Make His Mom Love You
Photo by Vlada Karpovich
You’ve been dating that special someone for a little while now, and it’s time to meet his mom. That’s stressful enough, considering that you desperately want to make a good first impression — after all, she could one day be your mother-in-law.
But you don’t just want to make a generally positive impression… you want her to really like you. You want to stand out as a wonderful choice for her son, a girl she would be happy to see him marry one day, someone that she doesn’t feel like she has to like, but genuinely has affection for.
That’s quite a bit of pressure to put on a single meeting, and cultivating a truly close relationship with his mom will take time — so take a few deep breaths and remind yourself that there’s no fast-track to a real friendship with her.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t begin to pave the way right now. For those moments during the first meeting when you’re wondering what to say next, remember these 6 phrases that are sure to get you on the right track in the meantime.
01 | “What can I help with?”
If you’re meeting her in her home, chances are she spent time and energy prepping to have you over. She probably straightened up the house, went grocery shopping, and put on some makeup before you got there — which means she might be a bit tired.
If the meeting is over a meal, offer to clean up the dishes and/or wash them. There’s a good chance she’ll refuse, but you’ll earn points for offering. And if she accepts, do it with a smile.
02 | “Tell me more about that.”
In your hopes to get her to like you, it’s easy to forget to show interest in her life. You’re focusing on doing your best to present yourself well, whether you’re talking about your family, your job, or your hobbies. And while it’s important to offer a positive image of yourself, she’ll instantly like you all the more if you seem more interested in getting to know her that you are in talking about yourself.
Ask about her upbringing, where she’s from, what her parents did, what she likes to do in her spare time, what she’s reading — and then as follow-up questions that show you want to know her, that you find her interesting. Most people are rarely taken true interest in like this. She’ll notice that you cared to know about her.
03 | “You’ve made such a beautiful home.”
It’s natural to take some pride in the home you’ve put together. Whether she chose everything out herself, or her husband had a say, her home is still a reflection of who she is and what she values.
Take note of how she decorated — paintings on the wall, bookshelves, eclectic pillows and rugs, the dining room table, the piano in the corner. Allow these ingredients to help you form an understanding of where she places her identity and compliment something specific about her home.
04 | “This chicken is incredible.”
No matter who did the cooking, if you’re eating in her home, she’ll feel some amount of ownership over the meal. Maybe her husband prepared the meal, but it could’ve been her mom’s old recipe, or one she came up with on her own.
Complimenting the food will always earn you a few brownie points.
05 | “I love that sweater. It’s a gorgeous color on you.”
Think back to the last time a woman told you she loved your dress. Didn’t you get giddy? And even find her endeared to you? Every woman alive will appreciate a compliment on her outfit, especially coming from another woman. This is a simple yet effective way to make a lovely impression.
06 | “So that’s where he gets it from.”
There’s bound to be something she and her son share in common, whether it’s their laugh, their eyes, or their love of reading. If you happen to notice it, make a comment about their shared uniqueness. Not only will this indicate that you appreciate small things about her son, but also that those things you appreciate are present because of her.