What Is The Bare Minimum From Women In A Relationship?
Photo by Pavel Danilyuk
The bare minimum: the least of what we should be able to expect from someone, often in reference to a romantic relationship. It essentially encapsulates what one step above zero effort would be.
We’ve all heard of “the bare minimum” when it comes to how a man ought to treat the woman he’s in a relationship with—he should at least remember her birthday, be faithful to her, and answer her texts. But when it comes to doing anything more than that, like planning a fun date, getting to know her friends, or caring about how she’s feeling? Well, if he drops the ball on those, he’s only giving her the bare minimum.
Of course, we should expect to be treated well, offered more than just one level of investment above none at all from the man we’re with, given a reason to feel lucky. But more often than not, we only consider whether he’s exceeding the bare minimum standards, and we forget to ask ourselves if we’re offering more than that ourselves.
So what is the bare minimum that men should expect from women in a relationship?
01 | We should be faithful.
First things first, being faithful to one another is the foundation for any lasting romantic relationship. So delete the dating apps, don’t text other guys, kindly turn down other guys’ attempts at flirting, and make him the only guy on your radar.
02 | We should plan dates, too.
While he might often take the lead when it comes to planning a romantic night out, take it upon yourself to be the initiator sometimes. Ask him out, tell him the time and place, and enjoy the feeling of having orchestrated a lovely evening all by yourself.
03 | We should compliment him.
Us ladies aren’t the only ones who like to be told we look nice. Throw a compliment his way (without being asked) when he least expects it—and be specific. (“That shirt looks good on you.” “I love your smile.” “You’re so funny.”
04 | We should ask about his day & listen.
Wouldn’t you want the same from him? Be the person who asks and actually listens. Show him you truly care. Ask questions only when you have the time to really take his answer in, and make a point of remembering the details of what he tells you.
05 | We should take care of ourselves.
In order to do more than the bare minimum, we ought to take care of ourselves on every front—mentally (by reading books and challenging ourselves), emotionally (perhaps by going to counseling), and physically (by eating healthily and exercising regularly).
06 | We should encourage him.
Whether he’s studying hard in school, thinking about opening his own business, or considering writing his first book, have something encouraging to say to him—every day. Something as short and sweet as, “I believe in you” can go a long way.
07 | We should be sensitive to him.
Your words have a deeper effect on him than he might let on. Be thoughtful of how you speak to him and of him.
08 | We should be able to apologize.
None of us like to apologize. We’d rather sweep things under the rug or make excuses. But in order to offer your significant other more than the bare minimum, learning the art of apologizing is necessary.
09 | We should be over our ex.
Remember: things ended there for a reason. Leave the past in the past—and don’t make him compete with an ex for your full attention.
10 | We should prioritize him.
Make him feel preferred, chosen, and thought of. Being in a relationship means we have to take his needs, desires, and well-being into account, as well as prioritize quality time with him.