What His Love Language Looks Like: Gifts
We’ve all heard that there are five basic love languages — at least, that’s what Gary Chapman, the author of The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, says. Chapman says the five love languages fit into these categories: words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, physical touch, and gifts.
So how do you tell someone you love them without actually saying it? You might offer him a few encouraging words, cook his favorite tasty dinner on his birthday, or cuddle up when you watch a movie. Expressing our love for someone is an intentional, intimate act, and no two people will show it the exact same way.
But here’s an even better question for you to ponder: how does your significant other express his love without actually saying it? Recognizing his unique ways of showing us affection can not only help us appreciate his loving acts even more, but learn how to show him love in a way that will make an impact — even if his particular love language doesn’t immediately come naturally to us.
Being that there are five love languages, and every one of them is so unique, we’ve decided to create a series of “What His Love Language Looks Like” articles, each dedicated to a specific love language. This week, we’re focusing on gifts.
What is the gifting love language?
Gifting is, unsurprisingly, a love language that centers around giving and receiving gifts. This love language can sometimes garner a bad reputation, being regarded as materialistic, but for someone with this love language, a gift is so much more than a sweet little trinket to be added to a collection of ‘things’.
A gift means that they are fully and intimately known by us; that we thought of them when we came across something in the midst of our busy day; that we’ve given them a token of love to remember this meaningful moment by. They’ll appreciate kind words, but they feel most loved when it’s given in a physical, tangible way.
What gifting looks like.
The key to executing this love language in a worthwhile way is not waiting to give a gift until his birthday or a holiday, as well as gifting him with something that has a deeper meaning behind it, rather than coming home with a random knickknack we came across. The thought behind the gift truly makes all the difference. Here are a few examples of gifting well:
Buying him a new pair of running shoes after he mentioned wanting to work out more
Getting a pint of his favorite, typically-sold-out ice cream
Surprising him with something he’d mentioned wanting weeks ago ‘just because’
Putting together a ‘self-care’ kit when he’s been working longer hours
Bringing his favorite coffee to him at work
What gifting can do for him.
Giving gifts can help him feel that he’s intimately known by us and unique to us — enough so that a random book, pastry, or t-shirt would make us stop and think of him specifically. It’s this kind of ‘knowing’ that creates a profound, meaningful, and lasting connection within a relationship.
We long to know that our significant other not only knows us well enough to pick up a gift that would actually mean something, but that we ourselves are significant enough to be thought of. Gifting is a beautiful way to assure him that he’s known, seen, and significant to us.
