Meeting His Family For The First Time? Here’s How To Make A Great Impression
Photo by cottonbro studio
The holidays are in full swing, with Thanksgiving behind us and Christmas just up ahead. For many of us, the month of December is bound to be filled to the brim with family gatherings, celebrations, and reunions. But this year, it’s not only your family you’ll be seeing — you’re going to be meeting your boyfriend’s family for the first time, and you’re a bit on the nervous side.
After all, we’ve all heard it said that you only have one chance to make a good impression, and you’ve taken that to heart. You want nothing more than to impress his parents and connect with his siblings, and with the holidays just around the corner, it feels like the pressure is on.
So what are the most important things to remember when you’re meeting so many new faces at once? How can you ensure you make a wonderful first impression on your boyfriend’s family?
01 | Dress up a little bit.
Our clothing is a reflection of who we are — it speaks volumes to anyone we come across, offering a peek into who we are and how we want to be perceived.
And when you’re meeting his family, it’s especially important to pick an ensemble that’s classy and true to who you are; an outfit that you feel comfortable in, but also puts your best foot forward. Getting your boyfriend’s opinion will prove to be very helpful.
02 | Don’t show up empty-handed.
Do they need a gift? No, but showing up with one is a thoughtful gesture that they’re sure to remember. Whether you bring a bouquet of flowers (after making sure no one is allergic!), a bottle of wine, or some fancy chocolates, the fact that you went out of your way to bring something will earn you some brownie points.
03 | Offer to help.
His family has put effort into ensuring the meeting goes well, far before you showed up on their doorstep. They’ve cleaned the house, put together a meal, and gotten ready themselves. And even though they’ll most likely turn you down, offering to help dice an onion, set the table, or clean up after the meal will be remembered.
04 | Find something to compliment.
His parents are inviting you into their home, which is filled with clues about who they are, what they value, and what they enjoy. Take a moment to notice something, whether it’s their collection of books, their decorations, his mom’s earrings, or his dad’s perfectly-cooked salmon, and offer a genuine compliment. Bonus points if you can offer them each their own unique compliments throughout the night.
05 | Eat what’s offered.
Health-related dietary restrictions aside, it’s best to eat whatever’s offered, whether or not you particularly like it. The point of the meeting isn’t to partake in your favorite meal, but to connect with his family and make them glad their son/brother found you.
06 | Remember names and details.
You’re bound to get overwhelmed with details and new bits of information to remember, but as much as you can, it’s good to know everyone’s names (including his sibling’s significant others/children, especially if they’re present), their professions/schools, and where they live. The fact that you took the time to remember will mean a lot to them.
07 | Ask thoughtful questions.
As the one meeting everyone else for the first time, you’ll be answering a lot of questions. Make sure to show interest in getting to know them by asking questions back. Ask his parents how they met or where they each grew up, ask his siblings about their major or their job, or ask about family traditions — and treat their answers like they’re the most interesting thing you’ve ever heard. If there’s one thing everyone loves, it’s to be found interesting.
08 | Show your love for your boyfriend.
His sister might be sarcastic with your boyfriend, and his dad might tease him, but make sure to treat your boyfriend with respect — this means staying away from jokes at his expense and talking him up instead. They want to know that their son/brother is with someone who treats him well.
09 | Stay engaged in the conversation.
His family’s dynamics are already set; maybe his mom and his brother are the talkative ones that tend to dominate conversations, or his dad is the one that poses a question that the entire family discusses for the next twenty minutes, and it’s difficult to get a word in edgewise.
Stay engaged in the conversation as much as possible, even just to add an, “I agree with you,” every now and then or to reiterate someone else’s point. Make it so they’ll say, “She jumped right in,” instead of, “She barely said anything.”
10 | Go with the flow.
Every family’s rhythms are different, and you’re experiencing his family’s for the first time. Be ready to adapt, having a good attitude about whatever comes up. Maybe his family wants to go for a walk after dinner — join them happily, even if it’s far too cold for your taste. Maybe they like to wind down with a movie after dinner — stick around to watch it with them even if you’d rather go home. They’ll remember it if you go out of your way to assimilate and adapt.
11 | Show appreciation.
On your way out, always make sure to thank his family for everything — for inviting you into their home, for the meal, or anything else you can think of. It seems small, but a hearty, genuine show of appreciation will always be well-received.