7 Things That Couples Who ‘Made It’ Had In Common, According To A Therapist
Photo by Ekaterina
Every couple’s story is vastly different. Their dynamics, their communication, their challenges, their values, their rhythms, and their disagreements will vary widely. Just as the two people within the couple are unique from one another, the couple as a unit will be entirely unique as well.
Even so, a couple’s therapist discovered something interesting: of the array of couples she had worked with over the years, the ones that “made it” all shared seven patterns in common.
What are those patterns, you ask? Read on to find out.
01 | They were friends.
The foundation of their relationship was based on a deep, comfortable, loving friendship. They genuinely liked one another and wanted to do life together. From little everyday things to big adventures, they were happy to be by each other’s side.
02 | They had been through dark times.
Things weren’t always a walk in the park. Instead, they’d faced storms, had challenges, and been through difficult seasons — and still chose to stay together. This built trust over time, an understanding that they weren’t going to abandon each other.
03 | They accepted each other’s quirks.
They acknowledged and accepted the other’s mannerisms and behaviors, even if they were odd or annoying. Rather than criticizing, they made light of these quirks. They fully knew and fully loved each other.
04 | They allowed the other to be themselves.
They admired and respected each other. They saw the strengths in one another and rather than wanting to change them, enabled their very best to come out by encouraging more of what they already were.
05 | They had disagreements.
The couple that “never” fights isn’t as healthy as we might think. These couples fought, but with a common goal to resolve their differences rather than a desire to win. They had seasons of frustration, but they bounced back.
06 | They had hard conversations.
Rather than sweeping everything under the rug, they communicated frequently and productively, even when their conversations encompassed difficult topics. They faced the challenge together.
07 | They had boundaries with their families.
They weren’t afraid to set boundaries with their families because their ultimate concern was what was best for their relationship. They were conscientious about how they spoke about their spouse and made decisions with them in mind.