What His Love Language Looks Like: Physical Touch
Photo by Polina Tankilevitch from Pexels
Did you know that there are five basic love languages? That’s what Dr. Gary Chapman, the author of The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts, says. The book breaks down the five ways that we say I love you (and feel loved), without actually using those three words, into these categories: words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts. We typically favor one or two love languages over the rest.
How do you say I love you without actually using those words? Maybe you love sharing a meal free of any distractions, or maybe it’s in your nature to use encouraging and loving words, or maybe bringing your significant other a cup of coffee in bed is your way of expressing your affection.
But here’s a better question for you: how does your significant other say I love you? Chances are, their love languages are a bit different from ours. Learning how to tell someone we love them in their love languages, even when it’s not natural to us, is one of the most meaningful things we can do for them. Understanding how they uniquely feel loved will serve to deepen and strengthen our relationship, and help our significant other feel truly seen by us.
Being that there are five love languages, and each of them are entirely different, we’ve decided to create a “What His Love Language Looks Like” article series – and this week, we’re focusing on physical touch.
What is physical touch?
Physical touch is a nonverbal love language that relies on closeness and familiarity — someone whose love language is physical touch is comforted by and will thrive off of love and affection being expressed through tangible, physical means, making them feel safe, valued, and cherished.
For those whose love language doesn’t include close proximity, physical touch can take some getting used to — but if this is your significant other’s love language, it’s incredibly important to learn.
How can we offer physical touch?
Offering someone love through physical touch means can be as simple as holding hands, but more important than the type of physical touch we engage in is the intent behind it — being genuine, warm, and consistent. Not everyone whose love language is physical touch will appreciate the same sort of touch, but if being physically affectionate is out of your comfort zone, here’s a few good ways to start implementing it in your relationship.
Offering a back rub every night
Kissing them hello and goodbye
Linking arms while out in public
Embracing them, unprompted, throughout the day
Encouraging them through something difficult by holding their hand
Sitting close to them whenever you watch a movie
What physical touch can do for him.
Perhaps one of the most interesting facets of physical touch is that it’s beneficial to more than just the person whose love language it is — being physically close with our significant other has been shown to reduce anxiety, boost our immune system, and deepen trust. So it seems it’s in everyone’s best interest to engage in physical touch with a significant other. But along with that, offering physical touch to someone who needs it will help them feel secure in the relationship, both emotionally and physically close to us, and fulfilled. Physical touch is something that only we, as a girlfriend or wife, can offer to our significant other to the degree they truly need, and for that reason, it’s one of the most important love languages we can be fluent in.
In short…
To be in physical contact with someone, on any level, is incredibly significant. If this is our significant other’s love language, even more so. Offering physical touch as a way of expressing our affection will have a lasting, worthwhile effect on him.
