Is There A Purpose To Suffering?

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Reader advisory: this article contains mature subject matter in reference to sexual assault.

I’m probably one of the first people in a room to object when someone says, “everything happens for a reason,” in response to suffering or a traumatic event. As a Christian, I certainly believe that God can take what would have been meant for evil and transform it for our good. However, I also believe that, at a fundamental level, sin, suffering, and death were never supposed to be part of the created order. 

Pain and suffering – even when inflicted by evil or circumstances out of our control – are errors. Even the irreligious can agree that suffering is an enormous burden that we'd be better off without. But this knowledge doesn’t suddenly change the fact that suffering is an unfortunate constant, a reality that we can’t escape in this broken world where we find ourselves. 

“Suffering is an unfortunate constant, a reality that we can’t escape in this broken world where we find ourselves.”

Humans are resilient; we’ve searched for a meaning in everything under the sun (even the sun itself) since the beginning of time. Why? For survival – so we don’t buckle and die under the weight of our hardships. As a religious person, I see nothing wrong with this; even those without religious beliefs make some sort of tangible, malleable efforts to stay hopeful. 

So it would seem that I’m in a bit of a tough spot, wouldn’t it? While I do believe that suffering, in itself, is pointless, I have no issue in seeking out messages of hope hidden throughout our broken world.

“Is there a point to suffering?” To me? Sort of – let me explain.

I’ve been on both the giving and receiving end of the, “everything happens for a reason” mantra and, I’ll admit, something about it always rubbed me the wrong way when I said it, and hurt me when I heard it. But I had no idea why. It wasn’t until I began studying theology and received a rather hefty number of diagnoses that I began to question it. It took a lot of time, reflection, and a listening ear to understand why I was so bothered by this phrase – and why I no longer think it’s the most appropriate (or theological) thing to say.

I began to recognize that suffering can be functional. Having stomach pain, for example, is functional in that your body is telling you something is out of order in your system. Developing symptoms of a mental illness after a traumatic event, even if it seems minor to you, is your brain telling you that you need to seek treatment. Even the occurrence of certain natural disasters can be indicative of how humans have negatively affected the environment. Suffering can have some sort of functionality, but functionality isn’t the same as having a “point”.

“I began to realize that suffering can be functional.”

The term “point” or “reason”, I find, is a lot more cosmological and moral in nature. It’s with that in mind that most people say, “everything happens for a reason”, and it’s here that things tend to get really messy. It’s easy enough to say that suffering might be functional, to a certain extent, but to say that suffering has a “point” enters very touchy territory. 

When it comes to the question, “Is there a point to suffering?” many argue that the answer is a resounding yes!, as finding some sort of purpose in a traumatic event can inspire people toward recovery. Although, attempting to find the purpose behind the event can also, and often does, do the opposite – because the “point” behind an event can be inherently negative.

What’s the point of sexual assault or sexual abuse? For the perpetrator to assert power over someone else. Of terrorism? To create an environment of fear. Of a virus or parasite? By themselves, nothing, except for the pathogen to feed off of the human body for its own survival.

Herein lies the issue with saying that suffering always has a “point” to it. Something having occurred “for a reason” can easily go more than one way.

So, is that it, then? Should we simply stop trying to find hope in dreadful situations, fully embracing a nihilistic mindset? No – of course we shouldn’t, but my suggestion is that we tread much more lightly and with far more consideration when it comes to comforting those, even ourselves, who’ve suffered greatly. 

Seeing suffering, in itself, as utterly pointless, and applying meaningful messages or finding hope in what we’re going through, aren't mutually exclusive. Scripture, therapists, and self-help books do this all the time, and with incredible care. 

We ought to think about “points”,  but it’s my suggestion to you that we be more careful not to apply purpose to traumatic events or tragedies themselves. Instead, I believe that finding purpose in the midst of suffering should be based upon how a person decides to respond to the things they’ve endured; “purpose” should be applied to that particular person, following the event, not the event itself.

“Finding purpose in the midst of suffering should be based upon how a person decides to respond to the things they’ve endured.”

Instead of trying to comfort someone by saying, “Everything happens for a reason” or “It was in God’s will”, we can offer them comfort by taking the time to listen to them, and say, “I’m so sorry you’ve endured such hardship. I hope that, after experiencing something so hard, you find healing, you find purpose, and that you find yourself.”

As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, I can say without hesitation that there was no point to it except for a grown man to take advantage of a vulnerable young woman for his own gratification. As someone with multiple mental illnesses and a chronic illness (which I’ve had since childhood), I can say that there was no point to the physical and psychological things which contributed to their development. But what I can say is this: there is a point to me.

I don’t believe that a good God ordained these things, which contradict His merciful and just character. What He has ordained, though, is my existence and whatever purpose He wants me to serve in this life in the midst of suffering. 

My purpose lies not in what I’ve gone through or am going through, because in a perfect world, they would’ve never happened. Instead, my purpose lies in what I’ve done in response to these things, and everything that God has so graciously provided so that I might recover and become the person I was made to be. 

Of course, as a Christian, I totally understand wanting to help someone see the bright side, to ignite hope, but ultimately, it’s not up to me to find some sort of meaning for them. In and of themselves, the absolutely horrid things that occur around us don’t serve a purpose; God never says that. Instead, throughout the Bible, He promises a time when suffering will end, when justice will prevail, when evil will be no more, and when death will cease to exist (Revelation 21). 

Yet, in that same breath, He promises to never recoil in the face of suffering or leave us to fend for ourselves (Isaiah 53). Since He is the God Who knows the past, present, and future, and has the fate of a person in His hands, it’s my conviction to leave it up to Him to show them what their purpose is. 

So, to the one being asked for comfort: it’s our duty to listen, and, depending on your faith (or lack thereof) pray for their healing while trusting God, or to encourage them while leaving it up to them to find their sense of purpose, despite what they’ve gone through. 

And to the one in need of comfort: I’m so sorry you’ve endured such hardship. I hope, after experiencing something so hard, that you find healing, that you find purpose, and that you find yourself.

In short…

Is there a point to suffering? No, but there’s a point to you, and you’re worth the effort of discovering what that point is. Not because of what you've been through, but in response to and in spite of what you’ve gone through.