Is Our Internet Fame Addiction A Cry For God?

Photo by Jenny Ueberberg on Unsplash

We’ve heard the saying — “The grass is always greener on the other side.” It’s often a benign line from our favorite rom-coms, or 90’s sitcoms. But this quote actually derived from a first-century poet, Ovid, who once said, “The harvest is always richer in another man’s field.” In other words, the strive to attain what we believe we’re missing is literally millennia-old. But here’s the thing — research has proved that acquiring “greener grass” not only doesn’t suffice our voids, or isn’t as enjoyable as we envisioned, but actually creates more desolation for ourselves. 

And we’re seeing it more profoundly in our digital era. Let’s face it: things have become a bit out of control. Before the big bang of social media, there used to be a high barricade around the “traditional fame.” In order to attain it, one had very few ways to go about it. One could become an actor like Denzel, a singer like Britney, a professional athlete like Kobe, a supermodel like Tyra, or do something novel like walk on the Moon.

But since the overtaking of YouTube, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and Twitter — fame is now more accessible to the general public. The monopoly of celebrity is no longer owned by Hollywood. There’s 24-hour access to consume famous stars’ seemingly glamorous lives by scrolling our thumbs.

Currently, all one needs is one moment to shock the internet; and go from a pedestrian to Addison Rae, Logan Paul, or Bhad Bhabie. But one rule still stands: there’s a figurative 15-minute window before the shockwave fizzles out. And after the first spark, like a campfire, it takes other strikes (i.e. audience engagement, Instagram posts, TikTok videos, the so-called “it” factor), to transform the fleeting flames into an infinite blaze.  

And because of this new social media fame, one can say it’s arguably rivaling Hollywood’s territory. The red ropes that once traditionally blocked 99% of us from getting inside are losing security at the door. Perhaps, that’s why there’s such a decline in record sales and award show viewings — the idea of “becoming a celebrity” isn’t so far-fetched. 

But even the famous are coming from behind the velvet ropes — warning those waiting in line that the grass on the other side is indeed “greener,” but only because it’s synthetic.

Take Josh Radnor, for instance. The How I Met Your Mother actor shared his struggle on INK Talks on how fame catalyzes his depression. “I bought into the not uncommon notion that, ‘When I taste success, that when I get over there… then I’ll be happy.’ But the strangest thing happened, as the show got more successful, I got more depressed.” He continued, “A lot of people think getting famous will save you. I was bummed to realize that rather than lessening my insecurities, [fame] poured fertilizer on them.”

And in the same year, there was Charlie’s Angels star, Cameron Diaz, who spoke with the Human Project about her concerns when fans zealously express their want to be as famous as celebrities like her. “I always ask them why?” She said, “If you’re looking for fame to define you, you’ll never be happy. You will never find it in fame.”

However, these warnings have little persuasion power, since too many overnight stars have leveraged viral moments. So even though we’ve become aware of these cautionary tales, it still doesn’t stop most people from chasing their greener grass to fill their void. And since the invention of likes and follower counts, platforms like Instagram and TikTok give us common folk our chance at “internet fame” like a lottery ticket. The chances are slim, but there’s still a possibility one could win big.

And let’s face it — that’s the whole point of why most have these social media apps. And with the younger generation, only knowing a time with social media, the chase for internet fame is vast and normal amongst their era. 

According to Earth Web’s website, “75% of children between the ages of 6 and 17 say that they want to become YouTubers.” There’s no secret that successful YouTube creators can make a great living for themselves. But according to Earth Web, money is the fourth reason why these adolescents want the gig. The first reason being “creativity flexibility” and the second — becoming famous on the Internet.

In our online culture, not only do we obsess over greener grass, but we’re constantly bombarded with millions of people seemingly acquiring greener grass by the minute. And this tricks us to believe our lives are always wilting away. Unless we “do something about it.” And by that, I mean, post on social media — a lot. 

According to the Lee Health Organization, “Using social media can lead to physical and psychological addiction because it triggers the brain’s reward system to release dopamine, the ‘feel-good’ chemical.” Furthermore, in the Social Dilemma, Randy Fernando, founder of Center of Humane Technology, stated “[People] get trained with instant gratification on these devices. And there’s something very dangerous about that. [It’s dangerous because] in real life, we don’t get everything we want instantly.”

And alongside that, Dr. Anna Lembke, the Medical Director of Addiction Medicine at Stanford University, discussed that even when we do “get what we want” it won’t be enough.

Sidenote: Anne’s commentary in The Social Dilemma is incredibly spot-on. I highly recommend listening to her in full here. In the Netflix special, Anne expressed, “When we hear the *bing* we get a little burst of dopamine in the reward pathway of [our] brain. That’s where pleasure comes from. It feels really good.”

But Anne explained that the initial “buzz” of, let’s say, accumulating over a hundred likes for one selfie, is less exciting after it continues to happen again and again. “Things that are pleasurable don’t stay pleasurable with a lot of repetition.” So what Anne continues to explain is, the brain actually changes its pleasure response to the “100 likes” after the “100 likes” keeps happening.

That amount over time won’t be considered a “pleasurable experience” anymore; which means, the ante must increase to achieve the burst of happiness that was initially set. However, this also means the ante will always have to increase in order to dodge notification novocaine. That cannot be good.

So therein lies the question: If credible research proves internet attention cannot fulfill us, then why are we still convinced that “one more successful post” will satisfy us? And secondly, if internet attention cannot do the trick, then what ultimately will?

We all know we’re not posting every part of our lives. We all know most of our selfies are filtered. And sure, it’s easy to conclude we’ve become a conceited culture, thieving our joy away like 2 Corinthians 10:12 warned against. However, finger-wagging at what society has become is not really productive. Instead, our first question should be, “What are people actually chasing for society to look like this?” 

Yet, we still participate in liking everyone’s photos because it’s a part of the game. We know we’re contorting our faces, photographs, and our lives, but we keep playing our hand to the social media dealer. But none of this laudation helps any of us. In fact, it’s just making us more insecure; because our photo-shopped selves are getting the attention, not who we truly are. 

And therein lies the obsession, to garner internet attention to fulfill something that we honestly cannot collectively agree is missing. It’s easy to say we’ve grown into a conceited culture. But the complicated question isn’t how we’ve become this way, but why have we become this way? 

I don’t think most people simply want internet fame, or 1,000 likes on their selfies, or to update everyone with everything they do. I believe people want to know they matter. The strive for social media worship actually exposes a subverted worship for other people’s approval.

Furthermore, this can explain why the chase of sharing is addicting, since the likes dictate to that individual when they matter. Simply put, people want to matter.

A study conducted by social psychologist Dara Greenwood Ph.D., an associate professor of Psychology at Vassar College, — expert in media engagement and its effects on our social and emotional implications — discovered the key reason why people want to be famous is to be seen and to be valued. The study showed that these motivations were congruent to fundamental human needs, “the fantasy that fame may come with the promise of lifelong social inclusion.”

The report continued, “If being seen and valued are of paramount importance to human survival—physical and emotional—it is intuitive to imagine that fame, and the visibility and value it confers, may be considered the ultimate vehicle by which to accomplish these goals.”

One could conclude that even though the strive for fame might look superficial, the point of the strive is most likely rooted in something deeper. The question could be asked, “Why would someone need to matter so much?” And the answer could be, “To feel like they have a purpose.” And hey, isn’t that why we’re addicted in the first place? But, as the mantra goes, “Don’t let anyone define you.” We say this for good measure as a reminder that societal validation is like consuming candy forever. It’s not sustainable, and you’ll lose all your teeth. However, as the study revealed that many in this quest, mission for a sense of emotional inclusion.

In April 2022, Denzel Washington held an insightful conversation about fame with his friend, Pastor A.R. Bernard. “It doesn’t buy happiness,” said the Academy Award Winner, “and can be a monster.” Washington then opened up about his late mother and her concerns about his walk with Jesus Christ. “She told me that I’ve done a lot of good, but I needed to do good the right way,” he continued, “She said I could not buy my way [into Heaven].”

Denzel admitted this caused him great reflection to what’s most important beyond his celebrity, and that he eventually plans to transition out of acting and dedicate the rest of his life honoring God. But toward the end of the interview, Washington mentioned something chilling to Pastor Bernard. A biblical passage that sounded quite exact to the culture we’re facing today. “It says in the last days we’ll become lovers of ourselves.”

Let’s go to church for a second and turn your Bible to 2 Timothy: 2-4. In the last days, “People will love only themselves and money. They will be proud, stuck-up, rude, and disobedient to their parents. They will also be ungrateful, godless, 3 heartless, and hateful. Their words will be cruel, and they will have no self-control or pity. These people will hate everything good. 4 They will be sneaky, reckless, and puffed up with pride. Instead of loving God, they will love pleasure.” Denzel finished by stating, “We all want to be followed. We are willing to do anything to be influential. But where’s your soul?”

Take this as a critical challenge, to admit the void we internally feel is not sustainable with superficial things. It’s not even sustainable with other variables — it’s a distinct unexplainable absence inside yourself. And for transparency’s sake, I tried to fill that absence with alcohol, which turned into an addiction. I tried filling it up with work and accomplishments, but that only garnered a sense of ugly pride. It wasn’t until I logically used faith to methodically see how it acutely fills the void because the void is only meant for God.

I know, I know, another Christian lecture – but I hope you’ll stay with me. This essay is a judgment-free zone. Also, a far-distant away from the Americanized Christianity we see today. I’m discussing Jesus Christ of Nazareth. And though it’s been 2,000 years since He’s walked the earth, many celebrities like Korn’s Brian Welch, Aretha Franklin, Johnny Cash, and Montel Jordan — who’ve arguably attained as much “greener grass” as anyone could — returned to (or turned to) the Christian faith for permanent restoration. 

Maybe as we’re searching for green grass and landing on synthetic turf, perhaps what we’re actually searching to lie down in green pastures beside still waters. Perhaps the answer to Denzel’s question is we’re needing our souls to be restored.  We’re all wonderfully made in the image of God. We all have purpose because we are still here. 

Try Jesus.