In Defense Of The Disney Princess

Photo by Leah Newhouse

“I am a Princess…
 I try to be kind.
I try to be generous.
I am kind even when others are not so generous.
I believe compassion makes me strong.
Kindness is power.
And friendship is the tightest bond of all.
I have heard I am beautiful.
I know I am strong.
 I am a princess.
Long may I reign.”

Those were the words printed on the canvas that made my heart light up.

While my husband and I were out browsing for Christmas gifts on a rainy afternoon, he brought my attention to various Disney princess canvases — and we left the store with what I think were the only ones left in stock with those words printed on them (because I decided all the little girls in our families that still liked Disney princesses were getting one of those canvases for Christmas.)

I will preface the following argument by saying that I used to think it was bad to tell your daughter she’s a princess. I thought it was a selfish lie. I looked down on it and (judgmentally) thought it was bad parenting. I told myself I would never call my daughter a princess if I had one; but now I know it’s only “bad” to tell your daughter she’s a princess without explaining to her what a princess really is.

For our honeymoon, my husband and I went on a Disney Cruise. (It was not as childish as it sounds for a honeymoon. It was actually really beautiful, elegant, and inspiring; I recommend it.) During the trip, we gained a newfound love for all things Disney and I remembered how much I used to love Princess Belle. In fact, it was such a newfound love that my husband convinced me to stand in line to “meet Belle” with all the eager little girls.

During the last night of the cruise, we attended a showing of the live action Cinderella. If you’ve seen it, you know that the central theme of the film is an underrated, beautiful message to “have courage and be kind.”

There is a particular scene toward the end of the movie where Cinderella and the prince are leaving the stepmother’s house, and before walking out the door to her happy ending Cinderella turns to her stepmother and simply says: “I forgive you.” (It’s one of those moments where you want to stand up, cheer and fist-pump—but it would be awkward because there’s no background music that floods in to drown out the sound of your cheering.)

Say what you will about the hidden agenda of Disney movies and how the princesses have tainted our view of what love really is, but I actually think they’re kind of awesome.

In an age where we blame the Disney movies for steering us wrong when it comes to love and it’s considered ignorant (and nearly shameful) for a woman not to be a passionate feminist—or even just to desire love and a family over an impressive résumé and “successful” career—I think we’ve overlooked the true message Disney princesses were trying to tell us all along.

I don’t think it was about the Prince Charmings and the happy endings and the princess getting swept off of her feet. I think we made it about that. Call me politically incorrect, but I think it’s always been about doing what’s right no matter what happens to you, or what’s happening around you.

Or, at the very least, it could be about that. If we cared to take note: Cinderella withheld revenge and forgave her evil stepmother. Belle gave her life for her father’s and chose to love the unlovable. Pocahontas dared to stand up for what was right in the face of seemingly insurmountable hatred and division.

None of these princesses sought revenge, lacked bravery, or let their heart turn cold in spite of their hardships — and they found the courage to open their hearts up to love even after all their painful, unfortunate circumstances. 

That’s powerful — and that’s the sort of thing that could change the world.

Since seeing that particular Disney movie, my husband and I have scoured the Internet for the original texts of several fairytale stories. I’m intrigued; I find myself needing to know what it really means to be a princess, and what it really means to be a strong woman — because I think we see them as opposites and have the wrong idea of both.

Beauty isn’t about how you look. Strength isn’t about being tough. And having courage doesn’t mean you are fearless. Beauty is about how you see and treat others. Strength is about keeping your heart soft. And having courage means facing your fears in spite of your fear.

That’s what these princesses can teach little girls.

Life is certainly no fairytale — but life can be a beautiful story in which we “have courage and be kind.”