Make New Friends & Keep The Old: How To Host A Lovely Gathering In Your Home
Photo by Rachel Claire
Today, so many of us want to find some time to connect in person with close girlfriends who lift us up and encourage us. But between scheduling conflicts, multiple responsibilities, and limitations on our living space and budget, it’s not always so easy to make these gatherings happen.
However, with some strategic planning, as well as a quick trip to the grocery store, you can create a memorable gathering in your home without too much effort — laying the foundation for new friendships, and strengthening old ones.
On a recent Saturday morning, I had the experience of doing just this. I’d love to share my story, to inspire you with how you might be able to plan something similar with friends in your home.
The plan…
Recently, I invited a group of five ladies to come over to my house on a Saturday morning at 11 o’clock. This was not a ready-made friend group — I was the only person they all knew, and truthfully, I could only say that I knew one of them very well.
But I knew that all of them had a desire to invest in female friendships. I knew it would help us grow even closer if we gathered with a greater purpose in mind, so I suggested to each one that we journey together through reading the Bible in one year.
All of them were on board, so I found a simple reading plan and surveyed them to find out when would be a good day and time to meet. It turned out that Saturday in the late morning worked for everyone.
I wanted it to be as easy as possible for them to all come, so I invited them to bring their small children to play together while we talked, and announced that finger foods would be provided for us to enjoy together. All of this planning took several weeks.
The food…
I wanted to keep things casual — I have a feisty toddler of my own running under foot, so I knew that preparing something elaborate to eat would be difficult. Yet I still wanted to show my friends that I cared about our time together by preparing something beautiful, inspiring, and doable.
Flipping through my favorite cookbook, I decided to assemble a cheese board and prepare a corn chowder quiche. Nothing says “I care” like a homemade meal, and I had all the ingredients for the quiche in my pantry: canned corn, cheese, eggs, scallions, flour, and butter.
As for the cheese board, my favorite cookbook author recommended thinking creatively and seasonally, including as many different colors as possible! To that end, the day before our gathering, I went grocery shopping for seasonal fruits and vegetables, as well as other cheese board essentials, such as a ball of fresh mozzarella, and soppressata salami. My final board included:
florets of romanesco broccoli
bell pepper spears and snap peas sticking out from the mozzarella ball, sprinkled with chopped basil and drizzled with olive oil
gluten free crackers
two kinds of hard cheese
a small jar of honey, and another of strawberry jam
dill pickles sprinkled with feta cheese
pomegranate seeds
tangerine wedges mixed with golden berries, in a small bowl
apples sliced thinly and sprinkled with lemon juice
sliced soppressata
Not only was it so fun to assemble this cheese board, it did not take long at all. Next to the quiche, it looked positively inviting! Finally, since winter is still upon us, I thought a touch of candlelight might be just the thing, so I completed the spread with two white beeswax candles in silver candlesticks.
The house…
I had planned to do some deep cleaning the day before our gathering, but ended up not getting around to it. I decided that having a few crumbs or dust here and there wouldn’t make or break the gathering — instead, I hoped having some proverbial cracks in my armor would help my guests relax, and know that a perfect façade here was completely unnecessary.
On the day of the gathering, I got up about an hour earlier than normal, to ensure that I could tidy my home and prepare the food. However, as all moms of littles know, my tidying was undone a couple hours after my toddler awoke. I was tempted to leave things as-is, in a state of relative disarray, but changed my mind about 15 minutes before the guests were supposed to arrive.
With just enough time to pick everything up once again, keeping my toddler close to me in an Ergobaby carrier, I was able to greet the first guest with a tidy home and peace in my heart when she knocked at the door.
The gathering…
Artfully laden with simple food, my small kitchen table was the natural place for us to gather for our first hour or so together, before moving into the living room. When I saw the looks of delight on my friends’ faces, I was so happy that I’d put in the effort to prepare something a bit more interesting and pretty than the usual fare.
Our kids played together in the living room while we asked one another deep questions, and listened attentively. The food and tidy home were not the point of the gathering — my friends were. But, these elements provided the soil in which our friendship as a group could be seeded and put down its first roots.
Takeaways…
If you’re looking to invest in friendships old or new, I would definitely encourage you to consider hosting a casual group gathering in your home with a bit of food to share. Just one or two special touches are all it takes to show you care. Here is what worked for me last Saturday:
Take your time with the preparations, from finding a date and time that works for everyone, to what’s on the menu — do just a little bit at a time, over a few weeks, so as not to overwhelm yourself. When everyone finally does gather in your home, all of you will have anticipated it for so long that you treasure every moment of the time together.
Going out of your way to prepare or arrange a meal yourself is a beautiful way to make your guests feel loved.
Passing over the room with a broom or vacuum, and ensuring things are put away, creates a peaceful atmosphere in which your friends can rest or relax, as well as you, the hostess!
Consider having a greater purpose for your gathering. Will you talk about a specific topic? Do you want to start a book club or Bible study? Are you marking a holiday? This is an especially helpful tip in helping strangers break the ice and become friends! Gathering to kick off our Bible reading challenge made this occasion extra-special, as we knew we shared a deep love in common.
In short, all the work is so worth it. You’ll be rewarded by sincere smiles, deep conversation, memorable quotes, and strengthened bonds of friendship.
