It’s The Little Things: Hosting

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When fostering beauty with intention, it’s all about the “little things”.  This is the case regardless of whether you’re spending an ordinary day alone at home, among coworkers in the office, or with family and friends. 

As much as we may desire to “go big” and make a grand gesture — and there are times and places for these — it’s the little things that make life special. Simple, intentional acts foster the environments in which we find ourselves and into which we invite others.

Previous posts have considered the power of the little things in all things food and table, in work and the workplace, and in fostering rest. Today, we focus on hosting.

While “hosting” can sound quite grandiose, this is meant to encompass a large spectrum of welcoming others in — all the way from a serendipitous glass of iced tea to refresh a neighbor you encounter while outside to the preparation-laden putting up of overnight guests. There’s much variety here, but also much simplicity — many little things — that apply across the board.

Upon arrival.

We’ve all received a variety of care when walking across the threshold into someone’s home. I imagine our experiences range from the generous, “Let me take your coat,” and “Make yourself at home,” all the way to the awkwardness of no explicit direction whatsoever.

If it’s jacket weather, recognize that your guests will need a place to stash their outerwear — and ladies, as we all know, will also typically have a purse to stow. People vary with regard to shoe preferences; whatever you prefer, simply be clear and gracious. If you want people to take their shoes off, no problem. Just request it politely — “If you don’t mind leaving your shoes at the door, that would be very kind. Thank you.” Don’t be afraid to speak up and offer direction. Clarity is kind.

Refreshments are another little thing that go a long way. Whether your guests have traveled from near or far, they may be thirsty upon arrival. Begin by asking if they’d like a glass of water. Depending on what your time together holds, what time it is, and from how far they’ve traveled, having some light snacks available — already set out in small bowls — is a thoughtful gesture. Think nuts, fruit, sliced raw veggies, etc.

Arrange your furniture for conversation.

Some of us have never given a moment of thought to the fact that how our furniture is arranged can do a lot to either foster or hinder conversation. When furnishing and decorating our rooms, we likely tend to think about what pieces we particularly want or need, placing them according to a general fit or pleasing aesthetic. Some rooms and pieces don’t allow for a large variety of options, but there are some general principles we can keep in mind and apply to help foster delightful experiences for guests.

When it comes to living rooms and the like — anywhere you and your guests would likely sit down apart from the table — try to create a circular arrangement. This doesn’t mean it has to look like a game of “Duck, Duck, Goose,” but rather than an “L” or a boxy “U,” attempt a general sort of circle, oval, or “C” shape. 

Chairs in addition to a couch or loveseat that turn in a bit allow for people to see one another better, more readily face one another, and converse more easily without taking on an awkward or uncomfortable posture. Moreover, I think such arrangements strike us all as warm and inviting, even if we can’t quite say why explicitly.

Another thought is to consider removing pieces of furniture or other items that could in some way hinder time together. Rather than being motivated by appearances (e.g., “stash the shabby chair!”), consider instead if anything might be a hurdle to connection. 

In other words, don’t worry so much about the quality of your furniture. Instead, consider what would foster vs. hinder conviviality and conversation. And don’t feel like you have to overthink it. Start with the obvious.

For overnight guests.

When preparing for overnight guests, I like to imagine that I’m the owner of a Bed and Breakfast. Not in the sense of putting pressure on myself to do things “perfectly” — please don’t hear that. Rather, I think back to my own treasured experiences of being at B&Bs and I consider what made them particularly special.

Often, it was a conglomeration of little things. Shortbread placed next to ceramic mugs or china teacups in the guest room. Bathrobes. The way the bed was made. The palpable sense that I was anticipated and thought about.

This last thing is what we want to strive for — it’s all those little things, whichever you choose to put into practice, that help communicate to your guest that you’ve thoughtfully prepared for their arrival and stay.

Getting practical, for overnight guest rooms, consider some of the following ideas. You might put a little sign on the dresser or bed: “We’re so glad you’re here! Please make yourself at home.” Provide a notepad and pen(s) for note-taking or doodling along with a clearly written or printed WiFi name and password.

Depending on your setup, you might provide any range of a variety of things for refreshment: clean glasses and a pitcher of water, clean mugs and some packages of tea (both morning and evening choices), small bits of snacks and treats (a jar of nuts or trail mix, a few individually wrapped chocolates, a fresh orange or two).

I also love to set out some books — consider a variety, including some choice fiction and non-fiction, a Bible, and a devotional read or two.

A box of tissues is always a good idea, along with a small wastebasket. If you want to take things up a notch, you can even set out a pair (or pairs) of thin slippers (just a couple of bucks at IKEA), and if you happen to have extras, bathrobes.

As far as linens go, thoughtfully making a bed — even if simply clad — can make quite the impression. The same goes for towels, whether arranged in the bathroom or placed at the foot of the bed, or elsewhere.

Again, it’s not about going over the top. It’s about doing the little things with love and intention. Your efforts will be felt, even if nothing is said explicitly.

Finishing touches.

Does anyone else feel like royalty when they see the toilet paper end tucked gently under like a triangle? It can’t just be me (right?). Such efforts convey unnecessary forethought — and it’s such unnecessariness that makes us feel special. Anticipated. Thought of. Loved.

Something else I’ve enjoyed is walking into friends’ restrooms to find a candle lit. Not only does this provide some light in which to find the switch, but it also creates a warm and welcoming vibe (not to mention its other practical benefits, hint hint). One additional tip is to choose candles that are all-natural (i.e., that don’t use synthetic fragrances, etc.). Many people are sensitive to the harsh chemicals found in lots of candles and aerosol sprays — going that extra step is yet another little thing with great impact.

While my first two ideas happened to concern the restroom — not sure why that is! — there are certainly additional finishing touches that can find their way into other rooms. These might be a chocolate on a pillow or a kind note thoughtfully placed. It might be a beverage, an hors d’oeuvre, or a dessert that features a guest’s favorite something. It might be airing a classy playlist in the background to set the mood for meantime conversation.

In short…

The sky is the limit. Rather than seeking to be particularly lavish or overly clever, think instead about the specific people you’ll be hosting and in what capacity. What extra little something might you put into practice that will make them feel seen, known, and loved?

Regardless of whom you have coming over, the reasons, and the length of stay, there are a plethora of little things that can foster beauty and communicate to your guests that you care for them. Remember that you don’t have to do everything. Simply do something — something little — with intention and love.