Don’t Hate Me, But I Don’t Think Mr. Darcy Is Romantic — Here’s Why
Pride and Prejudice/BBC
I was about twelve years old the first time I watched Pride and Prejudice. I distinctly remember sitting in my friend’s living room, listening to her swoon over every witty Jane Austen line.
True to my nature as an INTJ female (even a young one), I was unimpressed. Particularly with Mr. Darcy.
Why Mr. Darcy Isn’t Romantic (In My Opinion)
I’ve watched Pride and Prejudice (and read the novel) on repeat since my unremarkable first impression in middle school. I still hold to my original opinion of the iconic Mr. Darcy, and I could spell out my list of reasons. But I’ll get straight to the point:
I don’t think Mr. Darcy is romantic because I am so very much like him.
Depending on what source you cite, personality experts and junkies tend to peg Jane Austen’s Fitzwilliam Darcy as either an ISTJ or an INTJ. I’ve even read an article claiming Darcy is an INTJ, and an Enneagram 1 with a wing 9.
Which, my dear, is my precise personality.
And let me tell you, there is nothing quite as unromantic as an INTJ. (Unless it’s an ISTJ, but I digress.) That doesn’t mean Mr. Darcy is altogether undesirable. Or that dear Lizzy was in the wrong for falling for him. (Why else would we watch and read on repeat, if not for that happy ending?)
But let’s have an look at Darcy’s personality… and then you can tell me if you feel like he’s the literary romantic we’ve all been told he is.
Here are three traits that I think make Mr. Darcy unromantic (and his one redeeming quality):
01 | Darcy Is Critical (And Dare I Say, Rude)
His infamous line in chapter three, “She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me, and I am in no humor at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men,” is quite proof enough.
Hardly a line of romantic prose.
As the novel unfolds, Darcy criticizes the entire Bennett family, and basically insults Elizabeth Bennett for her low social standing (and proposes to her in the same breath).
Am I judging Darcy for his critical nature? Well, yes. (But remember, I would have probably done the same had I been in his shoes.)
His harsh opinions were often well-deserved, and even motivation for him to protect others from charismatic albeit deceitful characters (hello, Mr. Wickham).
But a critical nature stands in harsh contrast against romance, don’t you think?
02 | And Stubborn
Ah yes, aren’t we all sometimes? Perhaps. But then there’s Darcy's stubbornness. The grudge-level variety that pronounces, “My good opinion, once lost, is lost forever.” To his credit, Darcy did recant. (More on that in a bit). Thankfully, Lizzy wasn’t as unforgiving as he.
03 | And Unpleasant (Need I Say More?)
This point is a matter of opinion (as indeed is this entire article). But Mr. Bennett, Lizzy's own father (who could hardly find fault with anyone), was in quite a state of shock when his daughter confessed her desire to marry Fitzwilliam Darcy.
“We all know him to be a proud, unpleasant sort of man; but this would be nothing if you really liked him.” How endearing.
Where Darcy Wins The Day (And The Girl)
As you know, romance does win the day — despite the (questionably) highly unromantic nature of our male protagonist. But here lies the redemptive nature of Darcy’s type (whichever MBTI you side with):
His Ability To Be Introspective & Change
Darcy gives us many examples of his ability to self-reflect — and even change his opinions and actions — throughout the novel. I find his somewhat intense apology to Lizzy from chapter 58 especially indicative,
“I have been a selfish being all my life, in practice, though not in principle. As a child I was taught what was right, but I was not taught to correct my temper. I was given good principles, but left to follow them in pride and conceit.”
Darcy’s words are hardly swoon-worthy, but they are heart-melting. Lizzy obviously agreed, because we see them married very soon after he uttered these words.
In short…
So is Mr. Darcy the heartthrob romantic of Austen’s novel (and Lizzy’s dreams)? Or a very real (very flawed) man who was willing to swallow his pride (or was it prejudice?) in order to get the girl.
You already know my opinion. (I’m a Mr. Knightly fan, through and through.)
But what do you say? Is Mr. Darcy romantic? Dreadfully flawed? Or a little of both.
