A Mom’s Grief Journey: Why ‘Father Stu’ Is The Movie To See This Easter

This week, millions of people celebrate a moment in history where life overcame death. It’s rare for a movie to do the same, but this year we have one in Mark Wahlberg’s passion project, Father Stu.

It’s becoming rarer for faith-based films to come out in a religious season, such as Christmas or Easter, as these seasons are now strongest for already-successful franchises like Star Wars or Marvel. 

In 2004, people of faith and people who just loved a good movie came out in droves to watch The Passion of the Christ, starring Jim Caviezel and directed by Mel Gibson, a movie that’s a direct celebration of the sacrifice of Christ and the love he had for mankind.

Even if they fall short of the Passion’s glory (and box office success), I appreciate films like Risen, Miracles from Heaven, and Breakthrough that help me honor the Holy in the holiday by telling stories of people whose lives were changed from the original Easter event, the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus.

Father Stu shoots right up there to the beautiful portrayal of suffering in The Passion. If you watch the trailer, you might think it’s just a movie for guys, a typical Mark Wahlberg-fronted picture. And the audiences who like his films will like this one, too, as it checks all the Wahlberg tough-guy boxes — but there’s also a reason for women to go see it: its portrayal of a mom’s grief journey.

Several decades before the events of the movie, the Long family’s son, Stephen, dies in his sleep as a 7-year-old. We don’t see this happen on screen, but it colors everything for the survivors, Stu Long, the brother (Mark Wahlberg), Bill Long, the dad (Mel Gibson), and Kathleen Long, the mom (Jackie Waver).

None of them are coping well with the grief; they’re statues frozen in time. Stu deals with his survivor’s guilt by seeking adrenaline rushes in boxing, drinking, and thrills. Bill also drinks, and chooses seclusion and bitterness toward God to keep him going. Kathleen is a fractured woman, who wants to love Stu, and maybe even Bill, but cannot figure out how to do so when there’s such a large hole in her heart.

Kathleen’s attempts to love Stu from her brokenness translate into feeble efforts to keep him alive when he insists on putting himself in danger again and again. Her fragility also clearly stems from her need for Bill’s love, protection, and provision that she no longer has in a world where Stephen has been ripped away from her and Bill. 

“They want each other, they just don’t know how to live with each other when someone so precious is gone.”

This is the common tragedy of parents who lose children — the marriage rarely survives. Father Stu explores this tragedy well, showing Bill and Kathleen still wearing their rings, even though they’ve been separated for years. They want each other, they just don’t know how to live with each other when someone so precious is gone.

From the poster and the title, it’s obvious that Stu has an experience that leads to a religious conversion and a desire to become a priest. I’ll let you enjoy that spiritual experience in theatres, but I will say this about it: Kathleen thinks it’s just one more extreme choice made by her extreme son. She wants no part of it. 

All the rage she’s kept to herself explodes when Stu tells her about his desire to join the priesthood: anger at God, anger at injustice, anger at Stu’s refusal to get his life together, anger at what feels like another loss. Mysteriously, this outburst is the first step on her journey to putting her own life back together again. She’s no longer hiding the grief, which means she might be able to deal with it.

“She’s no longer hiding her grief, which means she might be able to deal with it.”

Not long after his conversion, Stu receives a hard diagnosis that means he’ll need lots of care. From what we’ve learned so far, we’d think this would be the end of Kathleen — here’s another son she cannot keep from suffering. But the opposite happens.

The test of the genuineness of Stu’s faith comes in his parents’ transformation. They cannot deny that he’s a different person — someone who cares for others, who’s able to face the diagnosis with hope and humor, who has life, not death, in his eyes.

“They get a second chance to step into their role as parents, which they lost when Stephen died.”

Armed with God’s love, he can meet his parents where they are. I can’t fully explain it, but this second tragedy for the family gives both Bill and Kathleen a taste of mercy — that they get a second chance to step into their role as parents, which they lost when Stephen died.

Beautifully, Stu’s illness gives Kathleen an open door to love and care for him in a way that she’s been incapable of for so many years. Perhaps we can only fully appreciate this mystery by remembering that it reflects the sacrifice of Christ.

In short…

We so rarely get to see true healing of hearts on screen that I encourage you to make a point to see Father Stu this Easter — even though it has some rough edges in language and guy-friendliness. In this holy time, we remember not only the blood of the Lamb, but how we overcome by the word of our testimony. The testimony of Stu’s transformation helped his mother overcome her deepest wounds — and that is a story of life from death worthy of the season where we honor the Firstborn from the dead.